up to date in a few sentences.

Since 2010 we went to court in November and I lost. the Judge made a ruling based on all the information Jonathan and I gave her. It seems sad that i will only see bella for about 8 days a month, but its been happening now almost 2 years. Its crazy what you can get used to. God defiantly has been my strength and my hiding place the past 5 years throughout this mess i made for myself. Jon and I didn'

t talk for an entire year, sure maybe a couple times here and there but nothing in depth. I have tried to get a long keep my head down and just love Bella all i can with the time i do have with her. She will start kindergarten in the fall and Jon has said he would only like her to be with me for a week in the summer and every other holiday. this information would have flipped me for a loop into crazy town 2 years ago but now i have seen heard and been through it all by this boy that nothing surprises me. if we have to go back to court i will ask to keep it every other weekend. we've been doing that for so long and now, its all Bella knows. why take that away from her because its a pain to drive every other friday and sunday night an hour and half. who knows what will happen in the fall but i know that God loves her and that she has a lot of people who care for her. ill try to update more often. i have had some funny times i wish i had recorded.

Mediation 1/29/2010

After the consult with the Lawyer I left feeling confident that i had a case if we took it to court. Praying about it in the weeks following my husband and I still didn't feel like we got the go ahead from God. I went ahead and scheduled a Mediation appointment. Bella still Only stays longer if Jonathan allows it. It kills me as a mother to not have her here every day. I am not active in her life and i want to be. Very very much i want to be in her life. I can't take back the agreement i signed over a year ago. I have tried. I made those mistakes and i have spent the past year living in those mistakes. I am a capable mother who can stay home make breakfast lunch and dinner. Be there to potty train her properly. Allow her to go to preschool, make friends and live a normal three year old life. I can't say that her father can give her all that without having his mother do it all for him. Its not natural for Our daughter to be raised by a Grandmother, when the Mother is fully capable and willing.

Mediation is today and I want us to come together as Parents. We both love Isabella and want the best for her. Shouldn't that be to spend equal time or more time with the parent that has the time to spend on her without work, school, life in the way? I can't make Jonathan change the parenting plan, I cant even get Jonathan to listen to me or look me in the eye. I can ONLY Hope and Pray for a miracle today. It would be a blessing to whoever may read this to Pray for our family which includes A lot of lives.


Isabella
Laurel
Jonathan
Both sets of Grandparents
Uncle with Cousin
Aunts with cousins ( both sides)
Evan ( Step Father)
Step Aunts and uncles
Step Grandmothers
last but not least Isabella's soon to be born Sister Eva Green.

All of us are affected by Isabella, We all Love and support her. So God has to be in control of all our lives.

Moving to Los angeles

i will be going to court. and the paperwork begins. yay

drop off Wed. October 28

Tuesdays are usually days that we meet unless otherwise discussed, this tuesday i had a early morning Doctor's appt. and since my husband had the car until late that night i wouldn't be able to drive at night. Being 5 months pregnant i don't feel comfortable driving long distance alone in the car. Jonathan said Fine we could meet the following day. Of course an hour later he called to say he had changed his mind and that i needed to meet him that night or that he was going to fall back on only allowing Bella visit me on a strict every other Sunday thru Tuesday. Which again shows me his control issues. It was not possible to meet him Tuesday and with him already agreeing to meeting Wed. I said sorry i have to meet you Wed. Jon eventually stopped calling and texting in this case i took it as he agreed to meeting wed. We met Wed afternoon at 4:30 pm in kettleman.

Pick up October 23rd

The agreed day to meet was Friday. I called the night before with no reply from Jonathan. Next morning Jon calls to say Bella couldn't come with out reason but to say she was just with me. I pleaded with him explaining that this was the only time we could get the entire family to take the portraits. He called back moments later saying to meet him now. so i again had to jump when he said to. it seems like i have been doing a lot of that lately. i met him in Kettleman city at 11am friday morning.

Drop off Sunday October 18th

I picked up Bella at a Unscheduled time. which is fine because she does go to church with Jon or more likely Grandma Adams. Either way it is good they are getting her around other kids. Tuesday October 13th Jonathan contacted me to meet him Thursday. Once again Jon Manipulating the Mediation agreement for his benefit not following it. But if i get more time with Bella who am i to complain. Isabella stayed with me till the following Sunday. Jon completely fine with this at the time. At drop off I discussed Bella coming back to stay with me the following week because of family coming into town for family portraits. He agreed and she went home with dad.

Pick up

This agreement is crap. Jon never follows it but, expects me to be "consistent". so today we will meet at 1pm. i hope it is because she will be attending church this morning.